The Devil, and Death, and Me

by Run Forever

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  • "These tracks are desperate, thrashing odes to fleeting youth and existential angst, grounded by the heaving weight of biblical doom. This is shit-thrilling music of the highest degree, elegiac and rousing in the same breath."

    -Speed of the Pittsburgh Sound
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1.
I didn't wanna' die young, I didn't wanna' die at twenty-one, The saddest song I've ever sung. "What about my best friends?" "The kids that I grew up with," I think you'd say. Cause' I couldn't write it any other way. We pass through time lines, We make our whole live count, but growing up means counting down. I can act like nothing's happened, I still have my doubts. When I heard her crying that night the truth came out. A bad dream, this can't be happening. I'll wake up and you'll be there laughing. A brother, A best friend, A true love left with a loose end. A sequence of sad events I keep repeating over and over and over and over again. We spend a life time on buying into death. Have we forgot the purpose? You taught me not to worry, let problems resolve themselves. So I think of you and try and settle down. A bad dream, this can't be happening. I'll wake up and you'll be there laughing. A brother, A best friend, A true love left with a loose end. A sequence of sad events I keep repeating. A bad dream, this can't be happening. I'll wake up and you'll be there laughing. A brother, A best friend, A true love left with a loose end. A sequence of sad events I keep repeating over and over and over and over again.
2.
There's helicopters over head, there's someone lying dead in the street. There's happiness in death I've heard to live is just to follow the beat. Now skeletons are all we are, nine numbers on a computer screen. But we don't work enough, we laugh too much, they're taxing us each time that we dream. Oh, it was love that gave us life, and it was greed that made us lie. It was lust that made it right. We used to dream but now I don't even believe in you half the time. There's a family who's possessions imitate the love that they couldn't buy. There's a comfort in expensive things, I've heard everything else is a lie. And all that honesty will make you weak, like a disease it drags you behind. Oh, it was love that gave us life, and it was greed that made us lie. It was lust that made it right. We used to dream but now I don't even believe in you half the time. It was love, is this what you wanted?
3.
So I've made my decision and there's no going back, cause' time will win the world and what happens after that is just some lost cause; some thing we thought that we could fight. We must wake from this coma of constant routine, pick off the callous and love what's underneath, cause' other than that we will discover we have nothing left. And I guess you call that changing the world, or at least some kind of grand illusion. A veil that's been pulled over your face. Some marriage between honesty and all the zeros somewhere in between. Now change is intangible, just nickels and dimes. A constant reminder of the nations biggest lie. Just some lost cause, a difference we thought we could make. So we turn to our text books and bibles alike, in search of an answer, the salvation type, but nothings real except the love that passes through us. And I guess you call that lying to the world, or at least some kind of grand deception. A veil that's been lifted from your face. Some break up between honesty and every single zero in between.
4.
I'll trade you my love my friend to drown all the ghosts of the people I've been. I'm so lost with their absence, just swimming through shame and a debt I could never repay. Searching for pity in a song I fumbled a few chords that never belonged. I woke from this coma, I crawled in my grave. I've done wrong and now it's too late. Time guide me on my way. The future is valueless, there's only today. I love you, now tell me your name. The future is valueless, there's only today. I'll give you everything I have to wash off the bad blood that's stating my hands. I drown in that color, just floating through shame and a life that all went to waste. Time guide me on my way. The future is valueless, there's only today. I love you, now tell me your name. The future is valueless, there's only today.
5.
I was tired and afraid as we spoke on the interstate, now I am sitting on this train as all the scenery is sweeping me away. I'm not sure what to say, and I can't just make this go away. I tried to put it underground, now it's resurfacing and I'm headed its way. There's things I've gotta' face and I don't wanna' learn that the hard way. I am heading home. I thought about death, and I thought about my friends, and how it's been a rough year with out you around. And I know it's gotta' change, and I know there's things I can't explain, like why you died so young and nothing feels the same. There's things I've gotta face and I already learned one of them the hard way. I am heading home.
6.
03:20
Been living in the city having dreams that I was dying, I woke up such a mess, scared into believing again. Got buried by the endlessness of everything I'd ever been. I used to have the answers, now I'm asking all the questions. Was it god that made my father hit my mother I wanna' know the truth. And is there some bigger part to this, please someone give me constant proof. Cause' I'm so sick of believing what I've heard. Cause' I guess when we die we all come back to god, and he loves us... Well does he love me at all? And if he does, I have no idea why. Been living in the city, having dreams that I was dying. Got buried by the endlessness of everything I'd ever been. Now I'm screaming from my front porch just hoping that someone hears. And I'm kneeling in my bedroom just hoping that someone's there. I woke up such a mess, scared into believing again.
7.
Well I saw 10,000 leagues of black, with wooden graves on top of them. And each one of them represents a memory I tired to keep, they're fading fast. On the horizon they're spots of paint. it sends them back from where they came, and they're released. I've got my compass, I've got my maps, but since you left nothing works and I can't find home. Maybe there's hidden hope, because when you're this lost there's no wrong roads, and no right course. In the darkest part of the human heart I strike a match. Cause' I believe that there's hope for us yet. And in every crashing wave I hear you call my name. You said " I love you" and you'll make it out of this. Well every violent storm eventually breaks. They all give way to brighter days, like a bus ride to a distant place; I know it well, cause' you made me laugh all the way. In the darkest part of the human heart I strike a match. Cause' I believe that there's hope for us yet. And in every crashing wave I hear you call my name. You said " I love you" and you'll make it out of this. "I love you" and you'll make it out of this.
8.
02:36
A brave little boy, with a crooked smile and a white lie innocence. I was never innocent to begin with, I was born with experience. Oh, you didn't know it but I studied you and I'm worse for it, In all the ways I've changed. Now I wanna' climb out from this grave. We're gonna' climb out. A blind little boy and a deaf old man, I used to be both of them. It's easy if you let em' in, they put a book in your hands and your brains numb to everything. I guess that's believing, keep spreading the message, don't ask any questions or everything's a waste. You're gonna' find out that it's one big grave. You didn't know it, they put a book in your hands and your brains numb to everything. I didn't know it, I started asking the questions, I only got lost again.
9.
I swear that I'll make it out of this year, though I may not know where I am going it's certainly better than here. I swear that I'll make it out of this year, though I've lost all the things I believed in; Hey, I'm still breathing. We all lost a friend, I'm sick of everyone dying. If winter would end I'd be fine, I'd stand in the sun, till' it felt alright. But it never comes, and the city's so silent. These people are all floating by, and I'm swept away by a concrete tide. And some days I can see the shore, but nothing's as beautiful as it was before. It's hard to see the bright side from the ocean floor. I swear that I'll make it out of this year, though I may not know where I am going it's certainly better than here. I swear that I'll make it out of this year, though I've lost all the things I believed in; Hey, I'm still breathing. I've learned with loss comes nightmares of dying, when the devil, and death, and me are spinning around in the deep blue sea. And the space between is just time that I'm buying, convincing myself it's alright that you're not here and we might be fine. I wanna' believe that you're alive, and that I might see you again some other place and some other time. I quit that way of thinking the last day of july.
10.
03:23
We are all the same old friend, yes you and I. We all make the same mistakes every time. So tell my why haven't we learned by now that everything's a circle, and once you die only god can let you out. We'll all be lifted, up all the way high, high into heaven. So they say. We are all unworthy stranger, all of us. We must all be punished for what our parents have done. But I don't believe in it, my father did but I'm not him. We'll all be lifted, up all the way high, high into heaven. I once believed in it, I was much younger then, free of experience, and the burden of your absence.

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"These tracks are desperate, thrashing odes to fleeting youth and existential angst, grounded by the heaving weight of biblical doom. This is shit-thrilling music of the highest degree, elegiac and rousing in the same breath."

-Speed of the Pittsburgh Sound

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released July 3, 2010

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